These Scarred Hands
by Wind Fire Fox Yuki
Summary: Just when everything had been going so well...just when Miharu had been so close to saving Yoite, he perished in his arms. The anguish of losing a loved one can destroy a person from the inside out...Miharu is no exception. MiharuxYoite
1. These Scarred Hands

_**These Scarred Hands**_**  
Wind Fire Fox Yuki  
Nabari no Ou Fic **

Pale green eyes slowly opened, the insurmountable pain that stirred in those indifferent depths was enough to rip a sob from anyone. How many weeks had it been since he'd lost yet another set of precious memories, how many hours since he felt that softness in his mouth, that hardness in his back, that tingling sensation that had sent him screaming and his mask crumbling to the floor?

It had been too long.

Miharu slowly rolled over and even that made him tired again, anguish could do that to a persona, zap the strength out of them like it was nothing. Yet still each morning he found the strength to open his eyes and go about his day. He had school today but even that seemed hallow and empty without Raimei and Kouichi there to satisfy his loneliness. His eye lids slowly lowered as he contemplated ditching school again today to stay here and sleep the day away again.

'_Your okonomiyaki…They were warm, and made me happy.'_

'_Oh… that's good. I'll make them again.'_

'_Yeah…Make them.'_

"**Rokujou!! Rokujou open this door right now!"**

Once again pale green eyes fluttered open, slowly as if his bones were aching just to move Miharu rose from his disheveled futon and dragged his feet and lead like body towards the door. He paused when the fluttering of something caught his eye; slowly he invested his sparring energy in to turning his head and staring at the knitted muffler, still stained with blood, out in the open hanging on the hat rack. Miharu stifled a small cry, catching on faster than his indifference could swallow the reaction; his hand moved slowly towards it, he could almost feel the soft wool that Hanabusa-san had knitted for Yoite.

"**Rokujou!! Do you hear me!? Open this damn door!" **

Slowly Miharu looked away and looked back…but the muffler was gone. He lifted the heel of his left hand to his right eye and quietly unlocked the sliding front door with his right hand. His only visible green eye slowly slid up to stare at Tobari-sensei. What was this man doing here? Hadn't he already caused enough trouble? Miharu slowly stepped back allowing him to enter without a word.

"**Rokujou…I've been trying to reach you for three hours now. What have you been doing? You've missed so much school…"**

His words died in his throat as he stared at Miharu's disheveled appearance, the sorrowful look in that one visible green eye and the mess of the house and his hair. Miharu's grandmother had gone away and left the store to him but he hadn't been up to taking care of it in his current state. But of course no one would know that, he always looked a mess after all.

"**Rokujou…God you look awful."**

Did he really? Did he really look awful? He turned his head slowly and stared at himself in the body length hall mirror. His hair was sticking up on one side and the look in his green eyes was less than hospitable, since when did his eyes hold such heat? Such icy heat, it threatened to swallow up his soul, he could see the flaming ice in the window of his soul, in his eyes. His skin was so pale it was sickly; there was a faint tremor to his body that he hadn't noticed till now. He sneered and his lips twisted the look in his eyes not affected by the sudden surge of disgust.

He was all bones and paper skin with hallowed eyes in a pajama outfit he hadn't taken off in three days. He stared at himself then looked away; the site was too much for his raw nerves.

"**Why did you come here Sensei?"**

Tobari stared down at Miharu for a while longer; his hands moving out to stroke the boys mussed hair and repair it as much as he possibly could. Miharu could feel his shivering and couldn't help but wonder if he was scared for himself or for Miharu. He closed his eyes briefly as the hand stroked his hair but the peace of it was short lived as another stab protruded in to his heart and he gasped and crumpled to his knees. Tobari echoed his cry and gently lifted him in to his arms and stared at him with pity in his eyes.

"**Who are you grieving for Rokujou…? Is it **_**'that person'**_**? I thought Yukimi told you that you should leave **_**'that person'**_** be…stop searching for something in your head you cannot see Rokujou! Can't you see it's destroying you!?"**

Miharu stared boredly up at Tobari, the darkness creeping around the surface of his eyes. He slowly closed his eyes and felt his lips moving slowly.

"**I can see just fine…Tobari-sensei."**

* * *

"_**Yoite? Yoite!? Yoite where are you!?"**_

"_**Calm down Miharu…"**_

"_**Yoite…"**_

_Miharu lifted his pale long arms, reaching, searching for the warmth that had become so familiar to him. _

_They would return to Banten soon and he didn't want that, he didn't want Yoite to disappear, Miharu had selfish thoughts of making Yoite his, healing his scars, saving his life and keeping him forever. A fear that was darker than anything swallowed up his resolve, drove him crazy with a want he'd never felt and he found himself curled in the corner of the little room given to them at the bus station hyperventilating. _

_Yoite had gone out briefly to get something and in that time he'd felt as blind as Yoite did when ever he couldn't sense Miharu near. His fingers reached and met the coolness of Yoite's leather gloves. His hands groped for that feeling, swallowed Yoite's hands up in his own warmth and drew the strange boy down over him._

"_**You were gone too long…I was suffocating."**_

_Miharu opened his green eyes and they met a blue as flat and familiar as his own indifferent eyes. He leaned up and buried his face in to Yoite's neck. The smell of blood like a comforting blanket surrounding Yoite so tightly he had to wonder if it caused his Yoite pain. _

_His Yoite…_

"_**Miharu…? Did you hear what I said?"**_

_Slowly Miharu shook his head and snuggled in closer to Yoite, fear was bitter like bile in his mouth. His oh so fragile Yoite he was so scared that he'd leave him behind, become a dried up husk and leave him alone and empty just like before, drowning in a sea of nothingness and praying that people would never stretch a hand out to him, never offer him kindness, because if they did…he would break._

_In this way, Yoite and himself were so familiar, both running away from love for fear of being hurt, both so empty inside with only the other to save each other from the rising tide. _

"_**Miharu…what am I going to do with you?"**_

_That voice that softly chastised him, that held such depth and warmth. He felt a hand slide down his body and another hand take his chin and gently twist it up so that blue and green met once more._

"_**You're crying Miharu…have I hurt you?"**_

_So sweet was his Yoite. Miharu closed his eyes a few tears he could feel now rolling down his cheeks. He leaned his head in to Yoite's hand yet part of him wished to run away from this welcoming warmth._

"_**Yoite I--!" **_

_But his words were distorted as a mouth covered his own. His eyes flew wide as he felt Yoite's mouth working gently over his, coaxing his mouth open, his tongue touching, licking, feeling, tasting. _

_Or so Miharu hoped. _

_But this didn't stop anything; this didn't save him, on the contrary the tears merely poured out harder. He felt his body being guided backwards and before he could say anything Yoite's mouth had pulled away from his and his trembling hands were unbuttoning Miharu's shirt. Saliva rolled down his chin lightly as he watched Yoite's progress. He heard Yoite's cry of frustration as he refused to remove his gloves and work his fingers on the buttons properly…the thick leather getting in the way._

_Very slowly Miharu sat up and reached out to Yoite, his voice a whisper on the stale wind coming in to the room from the window._

"_**Yoite…Let me wash away the scent of blood with my body."**_

* * *

"**Rokujou!"**

His green eyes slowly opened as he rubbed at his face and suppressed a whimper. Damn that Tobari, damn him to the foulest region of hell. He sat up with the same speed as an old man and rubbed at his joints like one too, it was possible that his grief was indeed aging him faster, maybe he'd die and find 'that person' in the process, the thought made his lips twitch in a phantom of the smile that could have been there once upon a time ago.

"**Rokujou you've been sleeping all this time…I took you to Kazuho's place you're resting in Yukimi's bed right now…"**

Miharu's eyes widened, he felt a fury unlike none he's ever known before wash over his fragile being and steal his reason. He lowered his head then lifted it and cried out.

"**You had no right! You had no right to take me from the place that Yoite was!"**

Banten…Banten was where it had all began but Rokujou had stolen him from Banten, from where he'd first seen Yoite, from where Yoite had first held him and they'd returned and he'd died…been erased from existence by the cursed Shinra Banshou. Miharu's hands reached up slowly as the anger faded under the morphine like grace of indifference. His hands gripped his head as he struggled to recall the beautiful dream he'd had in his sleep, but it was slipping away in to the fog… much like that person.

"**No!!! No don't go! Yoite! YOITE!!!!"**

"**Rokujou! Calm down Rokujo—Ack!!"**

Tobari hit the wall hard and a little blood trickled past his lips as he rubbed at his mouth and stared at Miharu a startled expression gracing his features. Rokujou was curled on the futon his features contorted in to a painfully terrified expression; he was staring at Tobari as though it was he who was the enemy and not 'that person' who was destroying Miharu from the inside out!

"**What's all the racket about!? People are trying to sleep ya know!"**

Yukimi slowly glanced down at Miharu and a sigh escaped his lips. He turned a vicious glare to Tobari; sure they were allies now against the Kairoshuu but he still believed Tobari to be useless, to be too naïve to protect Miharu, as far as he was concerned he had his own burdens to bear but it was no excuse to treat Miharu so badly.

"**Haven't you done enough for one night…sen…sei?" **

He purposefully dragged the words out, not believing he was even worthy of that title when he couldn't even learn his own damn lesson. Yukimi was suddenly distracted by arms wrapping around him and a piercing scream echoing from such a slender hoarse throat.

"**It's gone! It's gone Yukimi it was there and now it's gone!!!"**

Yukimi slowly wrapped his arms around Miharu as he became frantic then slowly relaxed in the arm of the man who understood having a hole in his world. Yukimi held on to Miharu as tightly as he could with his one arm.

"**Yea kid…try not to think about it so much. It'll be back when you need it."**

Miharu moaned softly pain surging through his form, Yukimi glared at Tobari who nodded and left. If anyone could fix Miharu it was Yukimi.

* * *

'_Yoite…Yoite…I have to…save Yoite…'_

_Miharu stood amongst crumbling book shelves, books falling from the sky all miraculously missing him by fractions of inches. A soft sigh tugged at his lips as he slowly turned his head and looked around. The kanji of the Shinra Banshou was surging up his body, covering him with the words of knowledge that was lodged deep within him in his DNA. A slow sigh echoed past his lips once more as he turned his head, his minds voice whispering to Yoite, summoning him, seeking him, needing him…_

'_Yoite…Where is Yoite…?'_

_Subaru gripped at her head and screamed a negation. She staggered backwards and tugged at her hair wildly._

"_**No!!!! NO!!!! Stop it!!!"**_

_Slowly Miharu turned his head away from the pathetically screaming psychotic girl towards the rear bookshelves that were propped up against each other. He slowly started towards them the only name in his mind, in his heart, on his lips was…_

"_**Yoite…"**_

_Before he could fully take his first full step towards Yoite's body the rushing sound of wind turned his head, in time for Shijima to attack him, black skeletons ripped from the floor and wrapped around not only the offending Shijima but Subaru, Katrina and the Baten and Kairoshuu nin that had gathered in the basement lab._

"_**A soul directed attack, huh? If you maintain your cool it can't hurt you. If you don't hold on mentally you'll become confused and break down."**_

_Raimei released a squeal but as usually Raikou was as cool as a cucumber, brushing his pink hair aside and watching Miharu with intrigued eyes. Yukimi slowly moved his hand away from his head band and stared at Miharu, but the look in his eyes was more worried rather than interested. _

"_**That kid…is he planning to use Shinra Banshou!?"**_

"_**Miharu…?"**_

_Miharu looked up the steps briefly spotting Tobari-sensei and in his arms Aizawa. He turned away, neither of these people were who he wanted…needed right now._

_Slowly he made his way towards the bookshelves and his Yoite, only to be interrupted yet again._

"_**Stop! You won't be able to bear it yet!"**_

_A cry issued from all those around, as most who had no protection against invasions of the mind were struck with a deep wound to their sides. Shijima, Raimei and countless others went down with a startled cry of pain, but not even that slowed him down. Yoite was in pain…Yoite needed him. _

_Yoite…_

_Miharu kept moving despite the cries of his friends, the cries of warning from Shijima about the risk to himself. Yoite needed him wasn't that more important than anything else? Why were they all so stubborn…? Miharu felt a hand close around his wrist jerking at him, it was Tobari-sensei…of course it was Tobari-sensei…he always wanted to stop Miharu from doing what needed to be done. Miharu's rage did not show on his face but on the burst of power that sent that useless man flying away from him._

_It was in that moment that he turned and saw the object of his search._

"_**Yoite!!"**_

_He ran towards him, his hand touching his wounded stomach and pain filtering in to his eyes. So badly hurt was his Yoite, he would not make it and he had to live…he had to live! Miharu wasn't ready for him to die yet!_

_Suddenly a voice pried in to his head…it was Miss Fairy, the Shinra Banshou was speaking to him once again._

"_**Will you erase him? Or will you heal him first? What will you do?"**_

_She paused and Miharu threw his head back, his blank eyes staring at the ceiling as the feel of Yoite's blood dried on his hand._

"_**Look I'll give you some wisdom. What will you do?"**_

"_**YOU CAN'T USE IT!"**_

_Tobari-sensei thundered above him, grabbing the back of his head and twisting his arm at a painful angle. Before he realized it his head was smashed in to the ground and pain shot through his body from both ways. He gurgled and panted as he suffered silently for a few moments._

"_**You might die!! Don't you understand what that means!?"**_

_Miharu had had enough, light shone from around him, burning Tobari and forcing him back with a loud gasp._

"_**Don't…touch me."**_

_Miharu slowly turned his face, his hair spilled in to his eyes as the words pulsed on his body._

"_**It's not me that is important to sensei…it's your own will which you don't want to yield too…"**_

_Quickly Miharu lunged for Yoite's body, his hand reaching out to that fragile existence that was all he had left in this world, all that would keep him sane. He must live!_

"_**Stop it!"**_

_Tobari had recovered quickly, he staggered towards Miharu his hand lashing out and grabbing on to Miharu's shoulder. _

"_**I'm not interested in Sensei's will!"**_

_Miharu reached out for Yoite once more and the sharp pain of Tobari's hand on his shoulder tightening was more apparent. His voice called out high as he struggled to unseal whatever Miharu was trying to do to Yoite's body._

_Slowly Miharu turned around but it was not Miharu's anguished face that Tobari saw, it _

_was the beautiful white haired woman named Miss Fairy, the Shinra Banshou._

"_**You're in the way."**_

_Miharu's hand collided with Tobari's jaw sending him careening in to the bookshelf._

"_**I'll have to deal with that annoying teacher first. You are already able to use the wisdom; all that's left is to 'Not get lost'."**_

* * *

"**Oi…Miharu…Get up."**

Miharu slowly opened his eyes, the dream tugging at the back of his mind but slowly fading in to the fog. It should have panicked him but he'd fallen asleep in Yukimi's arms. Surrounded by warmth he'd remembered his selfishness and wondered if the dream was a sign from the God's that he was being selfish once more. He certainly hoped not, for the hopeless emptiness inside of him was so much to bear, the only thing keeping him together was the warmth of Yukimi at his side, protecting him, giving him strength much like 'that person' had done once upon a time ago.

Miharu knew that he'd erased someone, that he'd fulfilled an important promise and broken one at the same time. But that didn't matter, if he could have a taste of Yoite in his dreams then it was enough…even just knowing the name that no one else could remember…aside from Yukimi who had named a black cat after his Yoite…without really noticing it…had brought him an immense sense of relief and had added a pain killer to the bloody wound left by tearing that person out of existence.

"**Come on…we're going out Miharu, you're going to help me catch up on my work."**

Miharu glanced at Yukimi with an indifferent look as if to say 'are you serious?' but he was only given in return a winsome grin that seemed to apologize and condescend. As was Yukimi's way.

Miharu looked out the window of Yukimi's old broken down car, it made him smile a little, this car also held memories of 'that person' he could feel closer to him here…it almost made him feel guilty that he'd been so hard on Tobari-sensei, after all he hadn't taken him that far away from 'that person'…that Yoite…he'd taken him to another place he'd called home.

"**You certainly seem in a better mood, brat."**

Miharu glanced at him then gave an indifferent grin as he twisted his hair lightly around his finger.

"**I feel close to **_**'that person'**_** here. It's as him a fragment of his shattered existence is lingering around you and this car Yukimi-san."**

Yukimi merely grunted and picked up the pace, he believed that Miharu had truly erased someone from this world with his Shinra Banshou; he even believed that this person had been someone important to him, someone very special. But he didn't understand why he didn't hold a grudge against Miharu for doing it…maybe because Miharu insisted that it was what 'that person' had wanted. But he was so sure that if it had been different…if he hadn't bonded with Miharu…maybe he'd have killed Miharu for this gaping hole of pure pain that was now inside of his arm. The arm that he'd lost protecting 'that person'.

* * *

_Miharu sat quietly beside Yoite, he'd had to be dragged inside with how weak he'd become. He had whispered to Miharu of how useless he felt, of how close his death was, looming over the horizon like a dark shadow covering his every thought and stealing away his senses. His hearing was far less than what it used to be, and the only thing he could clearly see was Miharu's aura lighting up the darkness around him. Yoite sighed and looked up at the sky, staring dimly at the stars that lined the blackened sky._

_Yoite shifted beside Miharu lifting a skewered layer of meat and ramming it home in to his mouth. He chewed and stared idly in the same direction before speaking._

"_**Have you told that guardian of yours anything yet?"**_

_Miharu slowly shifted his eyes over to Yoite to stare at him softly though his head basked still in the direction of the moon._

"_**I think that if I tried to hide everything he'd find out…"**_

_Yoite shifted as he stared down at the snake platter between them once more and picked up his tea._

"_**Is that right?"**_

_Miharu merely nodded in response and turned his gaze back up towards the sky before leaning over and lifting his hand as if to shield it from the others inside._

"_**But I haven't actually said anything important!"**_

_Yoite looked down at him a little startled by his closeness but quickly nodded._

"_**Ah…alright."**_

_Hesitantly he leaned heavily against the wall and sighed before fishing out a notebook from his pocket._

"_**Yukimi should be investigating Kouga, so "Daya" will be left to me…For you I want you to try and get Togakushi's 'Izuna Shingan' from under Fuuma's possession."**_

_Miharu leaned closer and nodded muttering a quick 'All right.' _

"_**Since Kairoshuu already has "Kira" and "Tenpenga" we'll have all five Kinjutsu-sho so then we'll get the hijutsu research team to help us find a way to use the Shinra Banshou. Where's Banten's "Engetsurin"?"**_

"_**I think Kumohira-sensei's hiding it."**_

"_**Ah…Well, we'll definitely have to get it somehow. But we only have about two month's left…"**_

"_**Mmm…also we're facing a huge crisis, aren't we?"**_

"_**Yeah…"**_

"_**We don't seem worried or frantic at all."**_

"_**We're ten times more worried than usual."**_

"_**We're losing out, huh?"**_

"_**We're losing out."**_

_Miharu keeled over backwards and covered his face with his hands the anxiety crushing down upon him as it did to Yoite who instead dragged his nails across the floor with a screeching kind of noise. They were both at a loss for what to do and with the time limit pressing down upon them it was that much harder. Miharu slowly glanced up at him and reached a hand out to touch one of Yoite's that scratched against the ground. Blue met pale green for a moment and Yoite's long silent heart skipped a beat._

**"_It's okay…I have a plan."_**

_Miharu smiled faintly at Yoite and before he could stop himself Yoite's hand was cupping Miharu's face and his thumb was stroking his lower lip._

"_**Miharu…I'll protect you."**_

* * *

"**Miharu? Hey Miharu get up we're here."**

Miharu lifted his hand and rubbed at his eye slowly, he drew his hand back but his eyes lingered on the left hand, staring at his palm that was now free of a scar. Finally he looked up to see Yukimi waiting for him, he forced a tiny smile and opened the car door that made such a strange creak that Miharu froze, when Yukimi laughed he got out quickly and hurried in to the large building with him.

Yukimi introduced him quickly around to the staff of the paper he worked for and with an indifferent yet cute look he took in the atmosphere, the camera in his hands. He hadn't remembered when Yukimi had put it in his lap so it must have been in his sleep but he did remember how to use it, he remembered Yukimi teaching he and a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he fooled around with the staff, teasing Yukimi and generally feeling tons better than before.

Slowly he looked over his shoulder and his eyes widened, a man walked pass the door and he could have sworn it had been…no…'that person' was dead. Slowly he looked away and stared at his left hand, he could still feel the string there, see the soft skin of his palm where it felt as though something was seriously missing. He shivered but finally Yukimi was taking him to catch up with work.

He looked out the window of the car as Yukimi's ramblings became white noise in the background much like the radio music. He heard enough to know where they were going and what he would do once they got there but beyond that he was lost in his own mind. That latest dream had vanished under the tarp, he could only remember the feel of Yoite's hand on his, and the feel of the smile he would only give Yoite like a cramp in the muscles of his face.

Without realizing it Miharu had thought the entire drive away and they were sitting outside of the museum that was the star of the article Yukimi would be writing. He glanced over at Yukimi but found that he'd already exited the car and was quick the follow the blonde headband wearing Kairoshuu ex-captain. He entered the museum and both he and Yukimi were startled to see Hanabusa here, lecturing the kids and seemingly enjoying every minute of it.

She looked up and Miharu and Yukimi raised their hands to wave at her a small smile touching each of their lips…well small for Miharu a broad grin for Yukimi. Yukimi glanced down at Miharu and felt his tension…Miharu wasn't ready to be faced with her out right kindness just yet. Not when her kindness had made a promise to 'that person' something that could hurt him again, and he wasn't ready to be hurt so soon after his recent break down.

Yukimi quickly whisked him away to the outside just before Hanabusa-san could do so.

"**So make sure you ask some of these damned brats their intake and take good pictures for highlights…Get going Miharu you'll do great."**

Yukimi had long since parked and explained to Miharu what he'd be doing, it was interesting to see him stare at him blankly as though he had no idea how they'd gotten here from the car, but he turned away determined to do his best. He chuckled faintly and watched as Miharu ran off while he got comfortable on a rock. Yukimi could only hope the presence of Hanabusa didn't stir any unnecessary feelings or harm him further.

* * *

"_**You've…changed a little."**_

_Miharu looked up at him a confused look on his face._

"_**Eh?"**_

"_**You're not as…dead."**_

_Miharu slowly got up, a small smile tugged at his lips as he stepped down the steps moving towards Shiratama. His black hair spilled in to his eyes with the blowing of the wind._

"_**Or maybe, it's just when I'm thinking about Yoite things."**_

_Miharu spun around on one foot and reached his hand out, he stared dully at Yoite but his face didn't seem so indifferent now, in fact there was just a hint of excitement, a faint widening of eyes and a quickening of breath that alerted Yoite to these lively changes._

"_**Shake hands!"**_

_Yoite looked away and closed his eyes. Why would Miharu want to touch him? He was filthy…he didn't exist._

"_**It's better not to touch me…"**_

_Miharu wasn't having any of it, he moved his hands closer and stared at Yoite who felt the pressure of those piercing eyes and opened his own blue eyes to watch his Miharu._

"_**That won't do. Don't put out my resolve to stop running away. I will erase you…if it's what Yoite wants."**_

_Yoite slowly looked down at his hand, raising it slowly inches away from Miharu's hands before he slowly closed his hand down and lowered his head. Suddenly the door burst open and Hanabusa-san stood there irate._

"_**I can't stand this anymore!!!"**_

_She quickly ran over to Yoite and grabbed his hand._

"_**Young people have to whole-heartedly grab each others hands!"**_

_She quickly locked by Yoite's hands and Miharu's hands together a beautiful smile on her kindly face. _

"_**Even though I don't know anything about that world and I can't lend you guys a hand, but if you ever don't know what to do, or feel like you want to cry, I'll welcome you back at any time!"**_

_Both Miharu and Yoite stared at her with wide eyes, their hands still pressed together with her own warm hands covering theirs like a soft buffer._

"_**This Hanabusa-Obaasan will hug you really tight!" **_

_Tobari slowly came to the outer doors and watched as Hanabusa pulled their hands together and slowly swung them around in a happy circle. Yoite and Miharu…had never been so far out of their element before._

"_**I can't take this…it's just getting worse and worse!"**_

_Tobari had come forth and clutched at his head as though the world was ending just because Hanabusa and Miharu were dancing with the Kira-user._

"_**Ah Tobari-kun you join in too!"**_

_Their laughter rang out beautifully in to the night; Miharu's heart had warmed so much so as he stared across them towards Yoite who even seemed to be smiling tightly at the situation._

* * *

"**Miharu you alright?"**

Miharu hadn't realized it but he'd been staring so intently at Hanabusa-san that he'd neglected to do his job. He glanced up at Yukimi and nodded before quickly running off.

It had only taken a few hours but finally the day was over, they were back in their car heading towards Yukimi's near by apartment and frankly Miharu was excited to get home and sleep. He wanted to see more of Yoite, more memories that would quickly vanish but give him a soft sense of relief. He wanted to feel more sad fragments of Yoite's existence, one lay in his heart and one in Yukimi's, one in Yukimi's car and another in Kazuho, one in Tobari though it was barely there, one in Banten…a big chunk in Banten. He needed more; he was addicted to the sensation for Yoite.

Slowly Miharu escaped the bowls of Yukimi's car and mounted the stairs to his room, when Yukimi pushed the door open a sigh rushed out of Miharu, another piece of his Yoite still existed in this room. He stared at the thresh-hold wondering what would happen once he walked inside; Yukimi glanced at him then took the first step entering the room. His wound was irritated by this place but not much, he had a feeling 'that person' and himself had many lovely memories of this place together. He shivered and looked back; Miharu had gained courage from his movements and had sheepishly followed him inside.

"**You want anything to drink kid?"**

Miharu automatically answered his eerie blank eyes infused on a certain spot of the room.

"**Lemonade."**

Miharu slowly walked across the room and sat down, beside him laid the camera and in his arms was his legs. He stared out then looked up seeing Yukimi bring him warm cup of lemon tea, he didn't object merely took it and sipped it. He stared in to the cup then looked up at Yukimi who'd sat down and was staring at his hands as if he remembered something important.

"**What is it Yukimi-san…?"**

Yukimi just shook his head and began clacking away at his computer. The déjà vu would pass.

Eventually.

* * *

**TBC **

**_Author's Note_ – Hopefully, I honestly didn't think I'd get this much but I'm going to put in more flashbacks with some MiharuxYoite luvin soon, there was a lot of fluff in this one and I was hoping to get more MiharuxYoite in here but this is how it came out I hope you guys like it. I wanted to play out more of Miharu's angst in the manga, it was perfect. But I didn't like how it ended up in the anime, Yoite didn't die right so I had to add that scene in here. Also you'll notice that instead of spelling Tobari-sensei's name with an H I've opted to spell it how it sounds, I started it out doing that and just totally forgot that I wanted to change the spelling. But whatever you all know who I'm talking about anyway!  
**

**Well this was supposed to be a one shot but looks like it'll end up being more than one chapter. I honestly didn't expect this much I guess when you find your story and a good plot you just go with it, ne? Well I enjoyed writing it so I hope you guys can encourage me to work on the second chapter and we'll see where that takes us.**

**Later Fanatics! **

_**Yuki**_


	2. A Mess is a Mess no Matter what Wraps it

**_These Scarred Hands_  
Wind Fire Fox Yuki  
Nabari no Ou Fic**

Miharu had finally managed to escape the worried eyes and arms of his captors. Tobari-sensei and Hanabusa-san were probably hunting all over Banten for him right now; it was too bad he was a long ways away from Banten. He turned his head and sighed as his cheek met with the soft blades of grass out in the country side. He'd escaped with the money he'd earned working in his Granny's okonomiyaki store; it had definitely been worth the trip.

His pale green eyes caught sight of Shiratama as she batted at a butterfly, her dangerous claws coming within range but quickly sliding in to her soft pads merely to brush the fragile wings of the butterfly and herd him where she wished. Miharu felt as though he were that butterfly in his life right now, he sought solace wherever he could find it to be alone with his elusive memories of his precious Yoite. Just last night sleeping in the grass he'd tasted the sweet bitterness of Yoite's tear stained kiss, his body had remembered the trembling pleasure of being one with his promise.

A startled sound of grief poured past his lips as he raised his hands from the grass and covered his face. In his waking moments he could never remember anything but the hole in his heart and the name Yoite. He wasn't 'that person' to Miharu, much like he was to everyone else, he was Yoite, and he was special and good. Though he'd done many a bad thing that hurt Miharu to think about it didn't matter, what mattered to him was that he was utterly taken with this boy, trembling, head over heels in love with the memory of someone he'd…erased…and yet he knew he had made the promise it still ripped at his heart that he could not save him.

"_**You could always change the past, Miharu…if it is your wish that is."**_

Miharu's eyes slowly opened as he watched the leaves flow in the wind, tracing the swirling motion of the air around him lazily with his eyes he finally weighed her words then responded.

"**Even if it is my wish…to bring Yoite back to me…it wouldn't make him happy."**

Miharu closed his eyes and felt Miss Fairy's arms slowly wrap around his consciousness, lulling him gently back in to his dreams, back in to his memories where he was happiest with Yoite.

* * *

_Miharu sat before Hattori, his pale green eyes stared dully at the man before him before lowering to the floor. He'd been taken from outside of Hanabusa's house; even now he couldn't remember why he had fled outside, what had driven him nearly to tears. It was all so pointless now, staring at the snow and wishing Hanabusa-san had finished that muffler…then it was all happening to fast, arms that weren't Yoite's had dared to wrap themselves around him._

_A body that was not warm like Yoite's had jerked him from the ground and suddenly he was flying. Before he knew what he was doing he was reaching out and screaming._

"_**Yoite!"**_

_But of course how would he hear…they were so far away now._

"_**Please…There's no time please let me go to Yoite!"**_

_It felt futile and frustration bubbled beneath his apathetic front, in his heart he was crying out, after all Yoite's hourglass had long since tipped inside of his soul. Time was running out, but even so Miharu knew that even if he was a zombie, if he perished on the way here, not even death would keep Yoite from wrapping his arms around Miharu and pulling him off to safety. _

_The thought almost made him want to cry out loud. Miharu knew Yoite would die trying, the clock had already struck and the bell that was tolling was too loud in his ears._

"_**The excursion is over…I thought I gave you two more than enough free time but…"**_

_Miharu lowered his head in a bow once more, his hands were shaking faintly against his knees._

"_**I promise I'll return to you…please."**_

_Hattori regarded Miharu with a steady gaze, the gaze of an egomaniac and inside it made Miharu feel filthy for such eyes to be staring upon him. He could bear it though, Yoite was coming for him._

"_**How many times do I have to tell you there's no need to grant Yoite's wish?"**_

_Miharu stiffened but his indifferent expression wasn't phased aside from a slender frown that tugged at the corners of his lips._

"_**What is the reason you hold so much concern for him?"**_

_Miharu felt like throwing up, who was this man to judge his care for Yoite? This man didn't know anything, not true suffering, not the agony of being alone in a crowded room, he had no idea what death and pain were like to drown in as an ocean. Who was he to judge!?_

"_**Because…me and Yoite are the same."**_

_Miharu's eyes slid to the side, he hid his rage well, behind his flaccid mask. Nothing could penetrate it; nothing could hurt him in his bubble._

"_**Really?"**_

_Miharu could feel his body twisting so that those greedy searching eyes could bore into his head from a better angle and deep inside Miharu cringed with hate._

"_**Do you know of his past?"**_

_The question startled Miharu, he wanted more than anything to know about his Yoite, to know of his past and to find out about the missing pieces of his heart. _

"_**No…but I—"**_

"_**Oh? Then what part of you is the same?"**_

_His voice, his questions cut like razors inside of Miharu's skull, the fine trembling from before didn't stop but he gripped at his jeans in an attempt to mask it._

"_**Sure you have no parents and the special circumstances of carrying the Shinra Banshou, but then there were people who extended their hands to help you. You were always blessed with people's kindness. Family, friends, people from Banten and Fuuma, but that child was not the same."**_

_Miharu stared at him, his lips twisted in to a frown and his eyes dead set on Hattori, nothing he'd said had been a lie but each word burdened his soul as if it were false. Miharu listened to Hattori tell with grueling intricacy of how he'd found the boy in the hospital offered him a new life as a ninja with the false promise that he would be erased from existence if he aided Hattori in his quest. Miharu's face gradually relaxed and contorted with each word, fighting his indifference for once to show his hatred for Hattori but failing miserably._

"_**At first glance, his effort contradicted with his wish. For him, it must have simply been a crossing point. Alive but dead, not alive but not dead. He put his life on the line the most because he believed that his existence was perpetually wavering like that of a ghost. If he didn't do that, the person who he thought he was would immediately vanish."**_

_Miharu watched fascinated with this new key to Yoite's past, he wanted more and startled himself at how hungry for information he was…so greedy…he wondered if his hollow eyes were anything like Hattori's right about now._

"_That child was never apathetic toward himself unlike you."_

_Miharu had had enough, the information he'd been given was too much and he felt his mind struggling to cope with the thought of Yoite thinking of himself as a ghost._

"_**But…But I!"**_

_He'd risen to his feet, his hands balled in to fists and his indifferent face twisted in to a brief moment of anger before Hattori's words lulled his face back in to unwanted surprise._

"_**Are you saying that the two of you have a bond that surpasses those words and reasons? As an adult, I don't have the pleasure of seeing that new world…I won't deny you, but I think your power should be used for greater things."**_

_Miharu grit his teeth and stared at Hattori with cold indifferent eyes. This man…was a monster for stomping all over his idealistic image of Yoite and himself. _

"_**Counterfeits. You and Yoite are not the same at all."**_

* * *

"_**How sad…"**_

Miharu's green eyes opened once more to a rain drenched world that included an unhappy Shiratama and himself. He closed his eyes briefly only to be reawakened by Shiratama's unhappy mewling. He sighed softly and slowly got up before reaching down to pick up his drenched kitten. Shiratama stared up at him and lightly licked his chin as a form of encouragement, briefly he wondered why she'd stayed at his side so long during the rain and not taken shelter for herself. Then he sighed and wondered if maybe she was really his only friend.

"_**How awful…I'm your friend as well Miharu don't forget."**_

Miharu looked up hearing a low roaring of thunder close by. How could he forget? He walked down the soaked mud road towards Fuuma. He shivered and looked up at the moon, it was an odd color, had to be a bad sign but Miharu didn't care, he merely needed to get some place dry, quickly. He hurried down the road and slipped through the seals with Miss Fairy's help, he entered the Fuuma village and stared around dully.

"**Miharu?"**

Miharu looked away from Shiratama and stared at Raimei, before he could stop himself he tilted his head and blinked once, long and slow as though he were deeply thinking.

"**Who're you?"**

Raimei startled and then rushed over to Miharu, her arms wrapped tightly around him but she quickly stepped back at the protestant hiss from Shiratama who was soaked, hungry and not in the mode to add crushed to the list.

"**Come in! God Miharu you must be so cold! Let's get you dry."**

Shiratama whined somewhat and Miharu captured Raimei's hand before she could leave. Tears filled his eyes slowly as his head hung slowly before he flashed his adorable eyes up at Raimei.

"**And food?"**

Raimei was stricken, she squeezed Miharu in a tight hug and promised him a feast he wouldn't soon forget, Miharu's wings popped out and flapped a few times, but this time he was accompanied in enjoying the victory of his demonic side by Shiratama who gave the softest evil kitty laugh he'd ever heard. He smiled faintly, glad for some form of normalcy and followed her quickly in to the house as the thunder sounded over head.

"**Miharu!"**

He looked up and saw Fuuma-dono creeping across the floor his face covered in blood and the left lens of his glasses was completely spider webbed. Miharu made an adorable frightened face which brought out Saraba who quickly dragged Fuuma-dono away to his doom. Miharu's little wings twitched and Raimei slapped her forehead muttering demon under her breath.

Miharu sat beside Raimei and stared at her, she was smiling sheepishly. Finally she wrapped her arms around Miharu again, he raised his left arm but his eyes stared at his hand…this was Yoite's hand, he was sure of it; finally he lowered his arm and hugged her back with his right arm.

"**When Tobari-sensei called and told Fuuma-dono about your condition…I was so worried I overheard the conversation he had with Saraba. I wanted to come back immediately but Raikou insisted on working on the house…You know we're rebuilding the Shimizu clan from here."**

Miharu knew what he'd been abandoned for. But it was okay, he'd always taken care of himself all alone, he'd cried alone, he'd suffered alone nothing had changed. He heard a peculiar sound and tilted his head listening to it, Raimei was crying. He hesitated then squeezed her tighter snuggling his cheek down against hers.

"**It's okay…"**

She gurgled an incoherent phrase in response to Miharu's listless cooing. But he didn't understand it and it was probably nothing important at all. He stared past her shoulder to Saraba and Fuuma-dono in the doorway before looking away. There was a tiny nonsensical part of him that was upset that Fuuma-dono could still even stand after such a pummeling and his inner self made the note to get stronger in his 'cute factor'.

* * *

_Miharu sat with his knees up and his arms wrapped around them. He was suffering, his mind in turmoil after having such a devastating conversation with Hattori. He could still hear the sounds of Hattori's blunt dismissal of his bond with Yoite. He hated that man. _

_Suddenly he looked up hearing the door snap open, who could it be now? Someone else to tear his mind to pieces?_

"_**Gau-san…"**_

_Gau rushed in to the room startled to see Miharu in such a state, he stared for a moment then shook his head and rushed forward. _

"_**Are you hurt anywhere?"**_

_Miharu stared at him, how could he trust anyone loyal to Kairoshuu now? When none of them believed in his bond with Yoite._

"_**It's alright; I'm on you and Yoite's side. It seems that Yoite-kun is heading this way."**_

_Miharu's eyes widened at that and he released his knees in favor of leaning over on his hands._

"_**What…?"**_

_Miharu looked away then raised his hands to his face. He was still in a fog from hearing Hattori's words, that bastard had probably anticipated him being swallowed with his grief and leaving Yoite to perish. He shook his head then slapped his cheeks before hurrying to his feet with Gau's help._

"_**Yoite's in no condition to fight. We have to help him…"**_

_Suddenly Miharu glanced at the door staring at the Kairoushuu member that had unwittingly entered. He clung to Gau still weak with sufferance, he narrowed his eyes as the man spoke._

"_**You, what are you doing here?"**_

_Miharu gasped as the man grabbed his arm and jerked him away from Gau._

"_**You're in the way. Move!"**_

_Gau staggered backwards an annoyed look flashing over his face._

"_**What? How rude!"**_

_The man started herding Miharu away to the door, Miharu struggled to return to Gau's arms, Gau was on there side! He believed in them and it made Miharu feel so much better._

"_**Leader wishes to store the Hijutsu in a safer location."**_

_Gau's eyes widened and Miharu stopped struggling his eyes a little wide. No…they were taking him away from here? Away from Yoite!?_

"_**What do you mean 'store'? He's a human being please stop! Why don't you think about how he feels!?"**_

_Gau had latched on to the mans arm but Gau was weak, the man quickly hit him away. Gau hit the floor with a thud and Miharu struggled harder._

"_**Someone, please come."**_

"_**Gau-san!!"**_

"_**Damnit! Calm down! Someone capture the hijutsu-"**_

_Suddenly Raikou was there, the sheath of his blade crashed down against the back of the mans head and his hand slipped away from Miharu's arm as he tumbled to the floor near Gau._

"_**Ra…?"**_

"_**Are you two alright?"**_

_Miharu was stunned and from the look on Gau's face so was he._

"_**Raikou-san, why?"**_

_Raikou merely grinned and looked over at the two now that he was sure the man wasn't getting up._

"_**The road with no retreat was forked, so I decided to follow this path. That is all."**_

_Raikou slowly drew his katana from its sheath and glanced out the door. Naturally more men would be sent for Hattori's precious world changer._

_Gau gasped, startled by Raikou's sudden disappearance in the room, he took Miharu's hand and staggered out the door only to see Raikou slicing up henchmen in the hall._

"_**Raikou-san!"**_

"_**Even if this is a decision that goes against the way of the samurai, I will not regret it."**_

_Miharu watched his eyes wide as Raikou sliced up another henchman who struggled to arm himself with a kunai. Raikou stared dully as he hit the floor. Miharu looked over at the bodies briefly then held Gau's hand as he ran after Raikou. They had to get out of here, to see Yoite, to stop him._

_Suddenly an explosion just out the window startled him, his eyes widened as he jerked away from Gau._

"_**Gau-san, Raikou-san, this way!"**_

"_**Rokujou-kun!"**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

Miharu woke up slowly to the sounds of birds chirping outside his window. He turned his eyes towards the window; his body still wrapped snuggly in his futon blankets.

"_**It's a beautiful day today Miharu…"**_

Miharu closed his eyes and felt his conscious snuggle in to Miss Fairy's arms, she was his only true friend now. The only one who understood his pain and remembered his Yoite in full. He looked up at her in his mind and clung to her warmth.

"_**Kouichi is near by this place…will you grant his wish?"**_

Beside him Shiratama mewed softly, her tiny paw reaching out to stroke Miharu's arm lightly. Miharu reflexively lifted his hand and stroked her head, scratching behind her ear with a faint smile. Cute Shiratama…she was the other one who wished to be free of the curse of immortality. He glanced at her and for once wished to hear her side of the story.

"**Shiratama…will you tell me something?"**

The cat leapt in to Miharu's lap and stared up at him intently, a cat with a human heart but lately Miharu had been treating her more like a person than a cat.

"**Why don't you want to be immortal anymore?"**

Miharu tilted his head his eyes filled with curiosity as he lifted the cat and held it close. Shiratama changed in his arms and he had to adjust to make room for her bigger shape. His hands moved down her naked body but he kept holding her close as he stared at her.

"**What brought this on I wonder? You've never asked me that before Miharu-kun."**

Miharu shrugged then lay his head on her shoulder, he felt safe around her. After all she was the spitting image of Miss Fairy and he could trust her to only care about him and nothing else.

"**You don't have to answer if it's hard…I just wanted to know why that was your wish."**

Shijima slowly looked up, a curious light filling her golden eyes. How could she possibly answer his question in a way that he would understand? She sighed and purred feeling his hands in her hair, her body wiggled closer and her tongue automatically licked out against his cheek. Sometimes Miharu wondered which she considered herself, human or not? The thought made him smile faintly, he sighed and leaned closer to her burying his face in to her hair, a fragment of Yoite remained on this body, not on Shiratama's but on Shijima's and it made her all the more comfortable to hold.

"**I've been observing humans for about a century…I've grown weary of watching the same scenes over and over again. Humans have proven themselves to be the most boring repetitive destructive race I've ever had the displeasure of sharing a heart with."**

Miharu stiffened faintly; this was something he'd not heard before, malice in the girl's voice. But her body remained soft and still against his, her hatred for human beings did not reach to him, he smiled faintly wondering if that meant he wasn't human. For a moment Miharu wondered if he could possibly be something else but human, maybe a book to hold all that knowledge or probably a scroll, maybe he had never been human.

"_**What an interesting thought…after all your past has been kept from you, who knows it could be true."**_

There was a mocking tone too her voice, he shivered and looked away. He didn't want to think that he wasn't human, he just wanted to go back to his normal life, but he was quickly seeing that maybe just maybe that would be impossible. Until he'd faced his demons…his loss of Yoite…he would never be able to be normal again.

"**Miharu-kun?"**

Miharu glanced at Shijima, she'd been talking but he hadn't heard a word of it. He nodded barely then buried his face in to her hair before closing his eyes. Yoite…he missed him so badly, the ache would probably never go away…how was he to ever get back to the way he was if he could never escape…?

* * *

_Miharu followed Yoite quietly, it was only natural that he would not put up a fight against the Kira-user; after all they were so much alike. He could feel the similarity in their aura's, he shivered and followed more closely, his hand hesitant but so close to grabbing Yoite's jacket._

_Tobari-sensei, Aizawa, even Raimei were probably worried sick thinking he'd been kidnapped. That was a good word for it, since Yoite had knocked Aizawa and Raimei out cold before he'd managed too get Miharu's attention._

"_**Hey shinigami-san…did you bring a guest? Even though you won't do anything for us!"**_

_Miharu's eyes slid to the side as he stared at the abandoned train station filled with run down vagrants. He hesitated then followed quickly at Yoite's impatient call._

_Miharu staggered suddenly and felt a hand brush his cheek, his eyes widened and he looked up at the hooded figure that was so weak and smelled terrible._

"_**You're lucky…I wonder how you'll be killed."**_

_Miharu leaned back and flinched as Yoite's foot lashed out and kicked the man away. He reached out and drew Miharu closer pulling him towards the wrecked train he called his own._

"_**What was that?"**_

_Miharu looked up at Yoite but he didn't fight the firm grip he had on his arm guiding him._

"_**They're just things existing in despair. It's really bothersome. They heard from somewhere that I could kill them and they gathered here. But I won't kill any of them; I don't have any of my whittled away life to spare for their sake."**_

_Miharu hesitated then felt Yoite's hand slowly fall away from his arm, for a moment he missed the touch. He shook his head then kept following, determined to learn more about this mysterious Kira-user._

"_**Yoite…Kumohira-sensei said that Kira is a technique that kills yourself as well. Are you willing to die for Kairoshuu? Even if you die, do you still want the hijutsu?"**_

_Miharu had stopped walking in favor of staring at Yoite's retreating back. He tilted his head to the side listening to the faint chirping of the birds and the bugs in the bushes all around. Finally Yoite stopped, briefly though it was before he continued walking._

"_**I am not alive. So I'm not afraid to die."**_

_Miharu hurried to catch up, he brushed up to Yoite and stood staring at the run down train cars or maybe they were buses, Miharu wasn't entirely sure but he couldn't help but wonder if this was where Yoite lived._

_He followed Yoite inside and hesitated at the entrance as Yoite moved to sit on a bench._

"_**There sure are a lot of bamboo shoots!"**_

_Yoite looked up at Miharu._

"_**Yeah…aren't they nice?**_

"_**Yeah."**_

_Miharu heart the soft whirr of a mechanical car, he blinked and brushed his foot against the car before looking around. How could anyone really live in a place like this? Miharu continued to stare around, he hadn't been properly invited in nor had he been asked to sit. _

"_**Sit. There might be snakes though."**_

_Miharu looked away from Yoite and stepped in to the wreckage towards a bench._

"_**Where's the rest of Kairoshuu?"**_

_Miharu slowly sunk into a chair and looked up at Yoite as he spoke once more._

"_**This has nothing to do with that…I just want to talk with you one-on-one. I want you to grant my wish."**_

_Miharu felt all his hope dashed, he looked away his eyes narrowing and his lips twisting somewhat. He was just like Yamase-sensei, just wanted to use him to meet his own selfish ends. Miharu closed his eyes then briefly opened them hearing the sound of Yoite removing his hat._

"_**I want you to make it so that I never existed."**_

_Miharu looked up, startled by this revelation. Who exactly was this mystery man? This user of kira that had the same eyes as he did._

"_**You want to die?"**_

"_**Not quite…I want you to change the past so that I was never born in to this world."**_

_Miharu looked away, his darkened eyes staring at the floor in contempt._

"_**It's okay if you don't understand…you don't have to understand. I can't do it with the Kira technique."**_

"_**Yeah…I know that."**_

_Miharu could taste disappointment like bile on his tongue. He closed his eyes then opened them once more to stare directly at the floor._

"_**Even if you say that, I can't use it. There's…too much wisdom for me. All this information floods my head; it feels like I'm going to burst. It's pointless unless I can train my mind."**_

_Yoite looked up at Miharu once more, for the first time their eyes met before each twisted and looked away._

"_**I bet if you cleared your mind first, you would be able to obtain the wisdom. What do you intend to use the hijutsu for?"**_

_Miharu looked up then closed his eyes, a smug look crossed his face as he answered without much thought._

"_**Nothing, I just want to throw it out already so I can return to my old way of life."**_

_Yoite looked up somewhat surprised._

"_**Why? The Shinra Banshou is yours, so it's fine for you to use it."**_

_Miharu lowered his head and ran his fingers over his knees intending to put his cowardice upon someone else for now._

"_**Kumohira-sensei said that it's unforgivable for people to change the laws of the universe."**_

"_**People already do as they like enough."**_

"_**That has nothing to do with me."**_

_Miharu leaned forward in his seat in favor of peering under his chair. His eyes widened playfully as he spotted a snake, who flashed it s forked tongue and quickly slithered away._

"_**You're indifferent. Are you not going to save anyone? Is there no one important to you? Without loving. Is that your principle, Miharu Rokujou?"**_

_Miharu slowly sat up once more his features looking more sad than anything now._

"_**I made…a promise."**_

"_**A promise? With who?"**_

_Miharu sat silently, his head tilting up as his bland eyes became hidden underneath his hair. With who? How should he know? That part of him was gone now…long gone, whatever happy memories, however he was born, his parents, it was long gone._

"_**I don't remember…but maybe…"**_

_Yoite rose from his seat and stood before Miharu._

"_**You're keeping a promise with someone you don't remember?"**_

_Miharu stiffened, waiting for the blow the startled look had yet to cross his face. But instead a hand came down and cupped his face gently. He shivered and closed his eyes against that touch, against the feel of Yoite's hand like so much warm skin against his cold face. He took in a shivering breath and felt the ominous presence of the other looming in closer and closer._

"_**If you're told by someone to 'use this', 'don't do that', then you accept it, pretending that you have nothing to do with it."**_

_Miharu gasped faintly, feeling the surety of his words and tasting the heat of his blood soaked breath so close to his own mouth. He could feel his lips brushing ever so slightly, setting his face on fire with a desire he'd never felt before. Miharu was choking, not on anything but on the fire that was burning through him at the severe invasion of his personal space._

"_**Then make yourself able to use it. Accept it. For my sake, if you can't do that, and then give it to me and I'll use it."**_

_Miharu struggled to form coherent words, thoughts, put his mind in to words but it was harder than he'd thought possible with how close he was._

"_**Apparently if you try to extract it from me by force the hijutsu will escape."**_

_Yoite's lips hesitated, trembled at the surface of Miharu's own sweet entrance._

"_**Isn't that what the Fuuma nin are doing? Then use the kinjutsu to create a technique that can reliably remove the hijutsu."**_

_Suddenly a voice echoed out across the plains._

"_**We are nothing but a bunch of losers shinigami!"**_

_Miharu's eyes widened and he mourned the loss of the intoxicating scent and taste that he'd received in the barest minimal from Yoite. He mourned that something had dared to interrupt what had been happening here._

"_**This world decides who wins and who loses by whether or not they are allowed to live! The winners have the right to freely kill anyone in their way! Now hurry up and kill me! Kill us worthless beings with the hand of a victor!"**_

_Miharu felt sick, who could possibly want such a thing. He reached out as if to stop Yoite but his hands faltered at the last second and Yoite raised his hand his finger pointing towards the vagrant who dare interrupt his special time with Miharu._

_Miharu got up suddenly, as the burst of Kira exploded from Yoite's finger and decimated the vagrant he struggled to perform his jutsu in time, but just as the smoke surrounded him Yoite's hand clamped around his throat and his voice growled out lowly._

"_**Where do you think you're going?"**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

Miharu sat outside the Fuuma house. He was enjoying stroking Shiratama's fur and feeling the cool breeze from the rain soaked afternoon. He was starting to retain some of the flashbacks he'd been allowed to see through his dreams, and that was a blessing. He could feel the touch of Yoite's lips once more and he wasn't losing the sensation, the coolness. He suppressed a somewhat giddy chuckle; he couldn't help but show how happy he was now that he was maintaining his precious memories of his erased beloved.

"_**Once this is done dear Miharu…shall we completely erase Yoite from this realm as he wished?"**_

Miharu looked up at the sky wondering if that was what he should do. He could handle himself much better now that he wasn't driving himself insane with sorrow, now that he could remember Yoite's face clearly. He closed his eyes and focused on those blue eyes that were so bright in his memory, his gaze slid down to the fullness of his Yoite's mouth. He shivered as he opened his eyes, Shiratama's paw came up to wipe away a tear that had slipped past his lifeless eyes.

"**Thank you Shiratama…"**

He glanced down at the cat then rubbed at his face.

"**Mi~ha~ru~ch~an"**

Miharu jumped and clutched at Shiratama so tight she mewled angrily, he slowly released her and she gratefully leapt to the ground and curled around his ankles instead of being squished against his chest.

"**Fuuma-dono…you startled me."**

Kotaro tilted his head and pushed his glasses up his nose. He walked out the backdoors leading to the veranda from Miharu's given room. Without another word he dropped down to the cushions on the floor and grinned up at the smaller scrawnier boy.

"**I was thinking Miharu-chan…"**

Miharu made a face and Fuuma quickly twisted his seemingly innocent face in to a serious pout.

"**I think! Don't make such an openly disgusted face!"**

Miharu's head tilted to the side and he forced himself to return his gaze to this face that looked nothing like Yoite's, that was no his Yoite's.

"**Anyway! As I was saying…I was thinking and…why don't you stay here? Obviously that idiot Tobari isn't taking care of you like he should be."**

Miharu felt his features freeze, stay here? And leave behind the place that he had last held Yoite? That he had last spoken to his beloved? Miharu caught his breath and without realizing it his face had over flown with tears. How could Fuuma-dono even ask such a thing of him? He wasn't ready to abandon Yoite's memory yet.

"**Miha—"**

"**Fuuma-dono! What have you done to Rokujou-kun!?"**

Fuuma turned in time to meet the blunt end of a rather long sheath, Miharu leaned back a little rubbing at his face just as Fuuma hit the ground in front of him, his nose gushing blood and his glasses shattered.

"**I didn't know you used a sword Aizawa-kun…"**

Miharu stepped on Fuuma-dono's head as he walked over to Aizawa; he felt a small surge of pure joy to see his friend. He knew the feeling was mutual when Aizawa grinned and dropped the sword in favor of hugging Miharu tight. Miharu leaned in to that hug and buried his face in to Aizawa's neck.

He could feel how much apart of him Aizawa was, and that sensation was amazing. Miharu's eyes fluttered shut once more as he clutched at the immortal owl in his arms.

"**I think…that I will grant your wish Aizawa-san…"**

Shiratama pawed at Miharu's ankle and he glanced down at the cat before tilting his head and smiling.

"**Yours too Shiratama…"**

There was a loud meow of content before Shiratama took to sharpening her claws on Fuuma-dono's side while Miharu and Aizawa escaped.

* * *

"_**That screaming man has yet to feel despair…"**_

_Miharu lay crushed in to Yoite's arms, his mouth pressed softly against Miharu's ear, the vagrant who'd been so bold as to interrupt erupted in to various pieces on a bloody heap on the ground. Miharu watched with blank eyes a faint trickle of sweat ran down his cheek from his forehead, the man was dead. _

"_**You are also like that…but even so…"**_

_Miharu gasped as he felt Yoite's teeth sink in to his ear gently and the rush of hot liquid down his cheek. He heard Yoite gurgle and slowly sunk to his knees being supported by Yoite. He shivered as Yoite slowly released him, he felt the boy go down on his knees before he too joined him on the floor. He pressed Miharu down under him, the blood trickling down past his lips and on to Miharu's face._

_Miharu cried out weakly as Yoite's head slumped down and lay heavily against Miharu's neck. He shivered under the rough touch of Yoite's body, his hand reached out to tug at Yoite's hair, so heavy; he was crushing him under the immeasurable suffering he was going through. _

_Finally Yoite pushed himself up, his weight pinning Miharu's lower body in such a way that the boy beneath him screamed out in an agonizing arousal._

"_**You are more dead than I am."**_

_Miharu's entire body quivered as Yoite shifted his weight grinding deeper in to him. _

"_**One…you separate yourself from the hijutsu and then don't care about what happens after. Two…you use it for yourself. Three…you use it for me. You can choose from the three but if you choose one or two, I will kill your friends immediately."**_

_Miharu's eyes widened as his entire body jerked as Yoite pressed down at a pressure that would bruise if held too long. His voice came out choked as he gripped his fingers through Yoite's hair, he wasn't dead…not now at least, his entire body felt alive with sensation and he couldn't hide his arousal, he knew that Yoite felt it from the dim look on his face and the way he continually shifted his weight._

"_**Wh-Why!?"**_

"_**Even if I kill your friends you won't commit suicide or exact revenge. It's because you're indifferent."**_

_Miharu whimpered and turned his head away from Yoite's piercing eyes, how was it that this man could read everything about him so easily. He shivered feeling Yoite shift his weight once more and set his teeth weakly in to Miharu's throat, he drew back and slowly straddled Miharu's waist, this time keeping him from getting away._

"_**But…"**_

_Yoite listened to his weak protests as the darkness settled in his eyes, he formed the seal with his hands and stared blankly down at Miharu._

"_**Then there's no reason to keep them alive. Seal cancel."**_

_Miharu shrieked as the pressure in his eye was almost unbearable, he clutched at his head and rode out the pain bucking and flinging himself reflexively in to Yoite's arms seeking solace. He didn't drown in his sorrow for longer than a moment but it was enough to press him tight in to Yoite's arms and keep him there…drowning in his warmth._

"_**The enemies that I shoot with the Kira technique continue to live with the fragment of my energy that I shot them with."**_

_Miharu listened deftly to the sounds murmuring from Yoite's throat, he was still singing with pain but he found that he could see better from his eye now…without that Kira fragment blocking his vision._

"_**Essentially when I 'die' the fragments die as well…along with my enemies. So if you were to kill me right now…I shot the one in Fuuma and the two earlier in Banten with my energy…so in total four would die."**_

_Miharu struggled deftly in Yoite's arms, his hips pushed down even if his mind screamed at him to move away from this crazy boy. He couldn't comply; the heart and body want what it wants even if it went against the mind._

"_**Well…can you see?"**_

_Miharu momentarily froze remembering those moments before it had been nearly impossible to see from his right eye. He shivered as he realized that yes…yes he could see again. He stared full force at Yoite and felt Yoite's hips buck, his eyes fluttered shut and once again he lost his vision as he threw his head back and gasped._

"_**Uhn…Yoite…"**_

"_**I have the ability to erase the fragments at my own will. I don't have much longer to live. If you don't quickly figure out the hijutsu…"**_

_Miharu slowly lowered his head, his fingers spasming against Yoite's shoulders as his hips reacted rocking ever so gently against Yoite's growing…problem._

"_**I get it…"**_

_Miharu leaned down more his breath coming in soft pants as he realized that he had absolutely no choice but to help him…this boy that was lighting his body on fire and drowning him at the same time. If he chose one or two, his friends would perish and he would be alone again, but if he chose three…wouldn't his friends grow to hate him and leave him anyway?_

_Miharu cried out suddenly as Yoite's body chose that moment to remind him of what he was doing; he slipped backwards Yoite's arms no longer supporting his body. He hit the ground and opened his dazed green eyes, his hand reached out to brush the hat for a moment as he thought. It was okay if they decided to hate him, it was stupid for people to die for his sake anyway. He shivered as Yoite pressed between his legs and leaned over him. It was bothersome for people to be nice to him even though he didn't do anything in return…he couldn't always rely on them. _

_He turned his head slowly, his dazed eyes framed by his stringy black hair, his lips parted and he leaned up closer to Yoite's mouth._

"_**I choose three."**_

_And with that he kissed him._

_

* * *

  
_

**TBC **

_**Author's Note - **_**Well here's the second chapter, this ones longer than the first geez this story is like an infection lol. I put in more flashbacks and a little more lime than fluff hopefully (if the story lets me) I'll have a lemon in the next chapter. We'll see, it's looking like it. Hopefully I find the right flashback to get them doing the do~ -heehee- but anyway hope you guys enjoyed it!**

**Later Fanatics!**

_**Yuki**_


	3. Closures the same as Denial

**_These Scarred Hands_  
Wind Fire Fox Yuki  
Nabari no Ou Fic**

_Yoite…Yoite…Yoite!_

_Miharu staggered through the back door his eyes widened, a smile curved his lips as his hand reached out. Yoite was here, stumbling through the snow. Before anyone could stop him he rushed too Yoite and flung himself in to his arms, he felt sorrow and happiness fill him all at once. Yoite was as good as dead, he felt the missing leg, he didn't want him to go! The franticness filled him but he knew what he had to do… he remembered his awful promise._

_But before Miharu could fully appreciate that he had Yoite safely tucked in his arms once more, the weight Yoite pressed got heavier and heavier and silently Yoite grew limp in his arms. His eyes widened as he squeezed Yoite tighter settling his weight in to his feet so as not to drop his precious cargo. Distantly he could hear the sounds of everyone fighting, the gun fire, the clash of kunai and sword; everyone was trying so hard to rescue him from Kairoshuu…they were trying so hard for him. He shivered and before he knew it, he was carrying Yoite's weight on his back and moving slowly down the pathway out of here._

_When did Yoite's rescue become his own he wondered...but then the answer was clear. They were one in the same; they were bonded by tragedy and held together with suffering. He never wanted to stop drowning if it meant losing Yoite…because for once he'd found someone who understood. Miharu leaned his head back and let out a gasp of agony, Yoite couldn't die he'd be lost without him. Slowly he pulled Yoite behind him, his pained eyes shifted over to the trail ahead and he froze. There in front of him were two Kairoshuu nin, he was in a strange mood tonight and he even wanted to lay Yoite down and kill them both even though he knew he might not be strong enough to do it._

_The decision though was made for him, when a foot smashed in to his face and Yoite slipped from his grasp to the ground, his eyes flashed to Yoite as one of the nin moved over to him, but before he could focus on moving to protect Yoite a hand grabbed at his collar and jerked him off the ground. His lips parted and blood rolled down his chin as he silently screamed. The nin before him pulled his hand back cocking his fist for a devastating punch but suddenly a kunai slashed through the air beside Miharu's head and sliced deeply in to the Kairoshuu nin's shoulder. With a gasp Miharu was released and looked up in time to see Yukimi pull a gun on the man who'd just held him._

_With a loud Hey! Yukimi swooped down and wrapped one arm around Miharu and the other around Yoite. Miharu was stunned but his eyes wilted back towards Yoite in his condition. He felt tears burning his eyes but none fell yet, he was still alive…for now. _

"_**What do you think I gave you guys cell phones for!?"**_

_Miharu looked up, he was on his knees beside Yoite who he'd propped up to lean against the stone wall. They were hiding behind someone's house, he let out a huffing breath before he raised his eyes to glance at Yukimi._

"_**If I hadn't gotten in contact with Gau, I would've been lost right now!"**_

_Before he realized it Miharu had turned to Yukimi with gratitude in his eyes, so close to crying they were shiny with relief. _

"_**Yukimi-san…"**_

"…_**Yo."**_

_Sighing Yukimi walked over to Miharu and crouched down, his hand went to the boys head as he stared deeply in to his eyes then checked him over._

"_**Any broken bones? Let me see."**_

"_**I'm fine…Yoite…"**_

_At the mention of his name Yukimi ruffled his hair seeing Miharu's small smile before Yukimi got up and went over to Yoite, his eyes flashed down to the missing leg but he wisely did not comment. He wrapped something warm and fuzzy around Yoite's neck and as he looked down he noticed it was the muffler Hanabusa had knitted him._

"_**Here…it's yours."**_

_Yoite stared at Yukimi and lowered his eyes before his hand moved to the muffler and his other hand reached out to Yukimi._

"_**Yukimi. I… Kairoshuu…I'm sorry."**_

_Yukimi watched Yoite's hand then glanced up at him and grinned._

"_**You should be. I've been continually thrown around by you. But hey…it's no big deal."**_

_His eyes flashed down to the leg that was not there once more and he lifted his hand and ruffled Yoite's hair. He felt Yoite shift under his hand, his hand touching his shoulder as slowly Yoite leaned in._

"_**Miharu…protect him. I don't…have the power to pull him from the water anymore."**_

* * *

Miharu stood on the railing of the bridge, his eyes peered down in to the murky depths of the water that had previously over flowed with the rain they'd been having. Beside him with his arms folded and his body leaning heavily in to the rail was Aizawa. For the last hour they'd merely been staring in to space, reacquainting each other with the silent pressure of their individual companies. Miharu had had the time to process that the being beside him was far older than he'd expected, that he'd seen things and done things Miharu had never done. For a moment Miharu tilted his head to the side and his devil wings fluttered.

"**I know you're an owl and all but did you get it on with my cat? Did you get it on with another owl? Are you a virgin Aizawa?"**

Aizawa whose lips had twitched to ask Miharu a question suddenly sputtered and looked up at Miharu with a startled gaze. He finally looked away his face red with embarrassment as he pondered over Miharu's question deciding he probably shouldn't mention that one time with Raimei lest his head be stricken from his shoulders. He shivered then glanced at the demonic little boy who seemed to gain immense pleasure from watching Aizawa twitch uncomfortably, finally the owl boy snorted and he looked away from Miharu's demonic musings to watch the water once more.

"**You've been speaking more freely to the Fairy haven't you?"**

Miharu took the question seriously, he'd quite enjoyed his time with Yukimi, traipsing around Japan meeting new people and enjoying his time with Yoite the cat, it made him smile to see the cat interact with Shiratama…er…Shijima the way they did was cute. But Aizawa was right…he knew Fuuma-dono had left this neck of the woods a little while back to go and speak with Tobari-sensei and Yukimi's sister, maybe even Hanabusa, though he wasn't sure he could handle visiting her right now, not when he was finally retaining memories of Yoite…though he was sure she would have a piece of him inside of her he couldn't bare it at the moment.

"**Mmm…she shows me dreams about the person I erase…she keeps offering to bring him back to me since I miss him so much. It's always about my wishes with Fairy-san…she's been…very kind to me."**

Aizawa looked up at Miharu, something about the way he said that disturbed him. Miharu wasn't entirely sure about the Fairy's motives…that was how it sounded, but the Fairy probably didn't hear that. Or did she? If he had heard it, then what did she understand? There were to many questions about the Shinra Banshou to many confusions that needed to be swept away. What was the Fairy up to?

"**Is it your wish to kill us Miharu?"**

Aizawa watched Miharu stiffen and lower his head, he reached out but stopped. He couldn't be the one to baby Miharu, no…from the set of his shoulders he wondered if the Fairy was touching him and telling him it was alright. He narrowed his eyes feeling his piece of the Shinra Banshou reacting to how close her presence was, he startled seeing a golden eye staring out through Miharu's hair at Aizawa, and slowly he stood up from the rail forcing Miharu to move his head.

"**My wish is not to kill you Aizawa…make you mortal so that you can die with me not leave me alone. I'm tired of the people I care about dyeing and leaving me behind."**

Aizawa watched him quietly, his fingers twitching and Miharu was just suddenly there holding his hands. Aizawa breathed in the scent of him, the way his breaths eased past his lips in needy whimpers, Aizawa almost took a step back but his hand reached out, his fingers coiled in to those familiar black tresses and he leaned forward with a low hiss.

"**I will not leave you until it is my time Miharu, this I swear."**

Miharu's eyes fluttered shut and for a moment Aizawa saw the Fairy, her arms laced tenderly around his shoulders, and then Miharu was crumpling in to his arms. Exhausted and weakened with gratitude.

* * *

"_**Yoite! Yoite!!"**_

_Miharu had felt Yoite give up felt his legs give in as the snow fell from the sky. Miharu's eyes saddened as his fingers slipped and Yoite fell to his knees. Miharu slowly reached out and helped Yoite prop himself up against the railing, his eyes glanced over the city for a moment before he slowly stared down at Yoite, tears brimming his eyes. This was his last chance._

"_**I don't want you to disappear, stay alive. We could stay together forever! I'll use the Shinra Banshou!"**_

_Yoite stared up at Miharu who had knelt now to lay his arms around his shoulders, quietly a small smile touched his lips._

"_**Even if I'm a ninja in the world of Nabari, I've killed so many people…that's why."**_

_Miharu wasn't having any of it, he turned away closing his eyes to the truth of what Yoite said. He was trembling faintly now as his fingers tightened around Yoite, he felt Yoite's small smile against his cheek and the familiar tickle of that tongue as it kissed and licked at his cheek lovingly._

"_**Then I'll change that…I'll even change the past!"**_

_Yoite chuckled softly and pressed his lips tightly against Miharu's cheek. He felt so happy right now, he knew who he was, what he wanted, and he knew that he would die swallowed in Miharu's love. He was at peace._

"_**But you don't desire that, do you? Even if you think about it you don't desire it. Because Miharu you're kind. I will die soon, but…you have to live."**_

_Miharu turned and felt Yoite's gloved fingers touch just beneath his eye, wiping away a tear he didn't know he had shed. Miharu lowered his eyes then stared up at Yoite wide eyed tears flowing freely down his cheeks now. He pressed closer to Yoite and screamed his frustration in to Yoite's shoulder before leaning back and capturing Yoite's lips in a heated passionate kiss. He knew there was no hope for one last session of intimacy, not when his body was withering away like this but he wanted so badly to die with Yoite at this very moment he felt his little heart was ready to burst._

_Slowly he pulled free of the kiss and felt Yoite's lips travel to his forehead; he sniffled and lay his head on Yoite's chest listening to the sound of his weakening heart beat. The sound forced his eyes to shut and tears to pour down his cheeks once more._

"_**Thank you Miharu…for not asking anything about me yet staying by my side."**_

_Miharu's eyes snapped open, the frail beat of Yoite's heart was skipping and stuttering. Something wet touched his forehead and he refused to look up and watch his beloved Yoite cry. He squeezed him closer willing this moment to last forever, that he would never die that they could just cling to each other for eternity, nothing else would make him happy. Without Yoite…he was nothing._

"_**For looking at me even when there was no reason to…"**_

_Miharu began hyperventilating, another wet drop touched his forehead and he clutched tighter at Yoite whose fingers gently squeezed around his waist. His breath hiccupped out once more and he willed Yoite to live, to live and stay with him._

"_**For never…letting go of my hand."**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

Miharu opened his eyes, his pillow was wet, his face was wet, his hands were wet, slowly he rolled on to his side away from his pillow, and he held his arm across his stomach and made his way out of the room. He knew where he was almost immediately; Aizawa had brought him back to Yukimi's apartment. He closed his eyes and pushed the door open to the bathroom.

"_Think of it as a place to come when you see it's raining."_

Miharu leaned over the toilet and threw up, he released everything that was in his stomach and heaved until he thought his stomach would come out. He rubbed his mouth dry and weakly his hand leaned down on the handle of the toilet. The soft whooshing noise of the water swirling and flushing found him as he lay curled around the base of the toilet. He'd been doing better…he thought he'd been laughing and smiling but he knew the truth, he'd only been hiding from the truth. Somewhere out there Yoite was still there, he could feel the threads of fate wound tightly around his fingers and knew that on the end of that red shimmering line would be Yoite, drowned in shadows but there.

He wondered if he believed in reincarnation, and for a moment he wondered what Yoite would be. His thoughts were interrupted by a soft meow, he slowly looked up to see Yoite padding towards him, that name struck sorrow deep in to his heart but he knew it was just the cat. He reached his hand out and felt the threads tighten as the cat got closer and curled up beside him. He wrapped his arms around the ball of darkness and peered down at it.

"**You won't die on me…will you Yoite?"**

He received a small round of purring from that cat and he sighed content to lean down and kiss the cat's furry nose before closing his eyes and drifting off once more.

* * *

_Miharu had quieted now. Yoite lay against his side his hand upturned towards the sky, snowflakes fell deftly not even melting in his ice cold palm. Miharu stared at Yoite, the tears he'd released before were swallowed deep inside of him now. He had a promise to fulfill to Yoite…to this man that was his everything. Very slowly he turned his face and captured his lips in a sweet but tender kiss. There was no fire behind either of their moves; they'd lost all their passion to confessions and the dampening darkness of death on Yoite's doorstep. Miharu held Yoite's face in his hands unwilling to allow those lips to move away from his, unwilling to free this warrior from the grip of life but knowing it was what he must do anyway. Yoite's tongue brushed his lower lip and he knew that it wasn't wet with saliva but blood and he didn't care._

_He parted his lips and sheltered that tongue within the wet cavity of his mouth tasting the bitter sweet copper taste of Yoite's blood, feeding on the fragility and desire in that kiss. Pain blossomed like a crimson flower in his chest and he knew his heart was splintered in to pieces by the time as Yoite's lips and tongue left him. Yoite returned to laying his head on Miharu's shoulder and Miharu was content to watch him rest there, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth and it wasn't his…it was Yoite's._

"_**Miharu…your Okonomiyaki…they were warm and made me happy."**_

_Miharu smiled gingerly but tears were pooling in the corners of his eyes. His arm squeezed gently around Yoite's shoulders as he held him closer to his chest and leaned down once more to kiss his cheek and nose. His voice when it finally freed itself from the grip of his throat was frail and barely audible but he knew Yoite would take comfort in it._

"_**Oh…that's good. I'll make them again."**_

_Miharu's smile never left his lips as he stroked Yoite's hair and kissed his cheek, he saw something flicker in Yoite's eyes and wished to ask but knew that he already knew the answer and asking Miharu would be pointless now. He shivered and watched quietly for another moment the tears pooling in his eyes had began to spill over but Yoite didn't want Miharu crying, he muttered something about something being in his eyes and knew that Yoite would accept it even if he didn't believe it._

"_**Yeah…make them."**_

_As he spoke those words his eyes slowly closed down and a smile graced his chapped blood stained lips. Miharu watched, he wasn't ready! He wasn't ready for Yoite to be gone! No wait…tears flooded his cheeks and his vision as what was left of his beautiful Yoite…those pale perfect lips…the touch of his chilled flesh in the darkness that was so warm when he would fill Miharu from behind…the caress of those scarred hands…the whisper of that sweet voice and the brush of that thick hair…all of it became ash that was blown away in the wind. Miharu felt darkness creeping in to his mind and wrapped tight around his body and slithering up his skin was the Kanji for the Shinra Banshou. He held the clothes in his arms tightly…and felt himself slip in to that darkness._

_

* * *

  
_

Miharu sat there staring at the falling snow from the corner of Yukimi's apartment that used to be Yoite's. He held Yoite in his lap and quietly felt the pressure easing off his shoulders and carrying off down the thread. He'd become sick, twisted, he'd abandoned his friends and family all in the pursuit of a dead mans memories. Was this how he wanted to be the rest of his life? Trapped beneath the weight of his pure love for Yoite? His hips burned and his lips were unquenched but it was his punishment for messing with the fabric of time. No one but Yukimi would understand his plague…no one would know his pain and be able to help him. He was worrying everyone by running away…even now they wouldn't hold it against him. King of Nabari or not they loved him and worried for him.

"_**You can always wish the pain away Miharu…as long as it's your wish."**_

Miharu closed his eyes and felt the Fairy's arms snake around his shoulders. She'd come to him and rescued him from the waters of his mind after Yoite's death as well. She'd asked him how it felt to be one step away from humanity, he remembered wondering whose feelings she meant but now he understood. He opened his eyes but he could still feel the phantom caress of her skin against his. He peered at his hands, then closed his eyes and felt the threads severed from his fingers.

"**I love you…Yoite."**

**

* * *

  
**

_**Author's Note: **_**The word Hermaphrodite has about three different meanings none of which meaning sexless. I made sure to thoroughly look this up in both the Oxford dictionary, Google and Wikipedia. I don't like to leave anything un-researched when I'm working on a story I really like.**

**Since it wasn't entirely clear in the manga or the anime if Yoite was the kind of hermaphrodite that started out as something and became something else, the kind that had both sexual organs or the kind that switched sexes biologically because of his surrounding situation I decided to roll with the more commonly human inflicted version of Hermaphrodite. **

**Which was to have both sexual organs simultaneously.  
**

**But no worries this is gonna be the last chapter anyway and I can tell not to much lemons going on here lol. It's sad but whatever, the story took me where it wanted to go and I have no regrets. I hope you all enjoyed it, look out for my next story for Haru wo Daite ita called "He who Protects". I also feel like I should apologize for making you guys wait so long for a chapter shorter than the last, but this one was the most important the one where Miharu gets his closure and I felt like at the end I didn't need to say anymore than this. Thanks for those who subscribed to me and reviewed much appreciated and I'm glad you guys enjoyed it.**

**Peace out Fanatics! **

**Until next time!**

_**Yuki**_


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